Stabbing and Slashing in Kanagawa - Don’t Bump Me, Biyatch!
By billywest • Jul 30th, 2008 • Category: News Of The Mentally Defective
Have you ever had one of those days? You know the kind…
You’ve worked a long day, you’re tired, and you feel like people have been walking all over you all week. You think, Hey, I might just snap here if anyone fucks with me. And sure enough, some prick in a real rush comes barreling past, knocking into you and generally sending your already sour mood into even darker depths. The guy isn’t moving so fast, you think. I could catch him and I could… Well, shit, I guess I’ll lose my visa and get deported if I do that. And, with that thought, he continues on his manic little way while you imagine the various kinds of beatings you would like to administer to him.
To be honest, sometimes my reactions are the kind that can easily lead to trouble. It’s just my way. I can’t remember how many times I’ve given someone a good shove in a train station for stepping into me or almost knocking me over. Hey, I’m human and I have at least a modicum of self-respect.
This whackjob, however, takes the fruitcake. I mean never in my life have I ever considered stabbing random people because someone else bumped into me. Of course, I’ve never wanted to put my old man down, either. Well, 34-year-old Hisae Sakurai of Chigasaki was done taking shit on Monday when she decided to stab and slash 6 random men at JR Hiratsuka Station.
What was her reason for the attack? The following from Mainichi Daily News provides a little insight:
“Someone bumped into me and I just lost it. I climbed the stairs and started slashing people,” Sakurai told police. “I thought I was going to die and wanted to take other people with me.”
Well, there you have it, another batshit lunatic proves that misery loves company. Thankfully, she was only armed with a Swiss Army knife. Otherwise, the results could have been tragic.
As far as I’m concerned, here’s a person that needs to have her hands bound with rope, to have that rope tied to the back end of a speedboat, and to be dragged at top speed down the Tamagawa river when pollution levels are at their highest.
What would you do if some nut sliced you in a train station?
billywest is a resident of South Tokyo and lives on the Toyoko line.
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Don’t Bump Me, Biyatch!…
Do you want to play ‘cut 6 people I don’t know’? It’s a little game they like to play down in Kanagawa. It’s an offshoot of the ever-popular game here in the Kanto area called ‘My life sucks, so yer gonna pay!” What are the rules? There are no r…
>> ” I guess I’ll lose my visa and get deported if I do that.”
I wonder how many of us are stopped from further action by this one thought. And the possibility that the perpetrator may be a top level karate expert. On the other hand, getting hauled in to the koban, getting on the phone with someone to translate (if they don’t take your phone and lock you away for three days) and finally being freed, would make an interesting blog post. Just be sure you’re not arrested because some idiot guardman at Narita stuffed marijuana into your bag in order to train the drug-sniffing dogs. And then the guardman has a heart attack and dies before he can explain. That would be story.
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Well, if I got slashed I’d probably find shelter, but that’s just me. Mark it sounds like you’ve had the experience yourself. Do tell!
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No, Tom, none of it ever happened to me. But if _you_ want to get yerself arrested…send me an email from the big house. That Narita thing – not only a stupid way of training the sniffer dogs, but it also trains the sniffling dogs to discern between non-Japanese and Japanese. So the dogs become biased.
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Yeah, I remember reading about the dogs at Narita.
The closest I’ve been to being arrested in Japan was being stopped by a police officer late at night as I was walking home in Asakusa. But if the police don’t confiscate my phone, I’ll give you the scoop.
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