Japan Premier - Spartancus Does Cloverfield
By spartancus • Apr 8th, 2008 • Category: Entertainment
It’s unfortunate that this is the inaugural review I am writing for sevententotokyo. Not that the film is that brutally heinous (though it’s not exactly a masterpiece). It’s just that I usually don’t get too involved in the horror genre these days. First, because I think the medium has been dead for years, and second, because I don’t scare easily. Cloverfield, overhyped from the start online, unfortunately relies on the recent shtick of using camera tricks and amateur actors. Hello, Blair Witch Project with monsters!
The tale revolves around Rob, who’s about to move to Japan (don’t do it, Rob!!) and is the recipient of a going-away party. Things are going poorly, mostly because his love interest is upset with him and his bumbling friend is making an ass of himself using the camcorder to document the bash. But things get infinitely worse when some sort of giant creature begins dismantling all of Manhattan. What follows is Rob and Co. making their way through the rubble and danger to try and reach his trapped ladyfriend. Some of the camerawork is decent, specifically when they go into “night vision” in the dark subway tunnels. There’s also some surprising humor that helps keep the story moving. But, as with a lot of recent horror fare, the plot involves too much undercooked character development and moments that go nowhere. Cloverfield is not supposed to be scary in the traditional sense; I suppose freaky would be a better adjective. While it succeeds on a minor level using the element of the unknown, overall it falls flat because of the herky-jerky pacing and cliched dialogue.
6/10
**SPOILERS BELOW**
A quick thought: What on earth is the creature? A fish monster? An alien? Some nuclear mistake? Whatever you decide, it is certainly thick-skinned. I mean, when you have a monster being carpet-bombed by B-52s as a last resort — to no avail — we’re talking about some seriously thick skin. The military lays an arsenal of ammo into the damned thing and it just goes on its merry way. And how does this thing just so happen to keep popping in on the same tiny group of tiny humans? Once is a coincidence. Twice and more is bad storytelling.
spartancus is a resident of West Tokyo and lives off the Seibu Ikebukuro line.
He is a native of Detroit, Michigan and has previously worked as a writer, editor, page designer, bartender, musician, waiter, roofer, landscaper, short-order cook, hardware store clerk, bookstore clerk, night security guard and dishwasher. He teaches English in public schools.
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Yeah, this is just one of those flicks that you watch in the theater, enjoy the visuals and sounds, and forget by the time you get home. Wasn’t the worst ￥1200 I’ve spent on a movie while in Japan.
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This was horrible to watch. After the first 10 minutes of jerky camera work my husband was so motion sick he went outside and vomited. We thought it would be over soon (camera movement) but alas it stayed for the whole movie. My husband didn’t, he had to go outside and find his legs!
It was the worst $15.50 i’ve ever spent to see a movie.
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Yeah, all that shaking is not for the faint or heart or for anyone who put down some curry rice on an empty stomach. Seriously, what are some theories on the Cloverfield monster? Anyone?
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According to the viral marketing, it was supposedly the result of something the Japanese were putting in their latest soft drink, a secret ingredient mined from the ocean floor. Beyond that, I’m a little fuzzy on the details.
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It kinda looks like Godzilla mated with a dinosaur!
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