Crow Away! Tokyo’s Black Plague
By spartancus • May 3rd, 2008 • Category: The Latest
I love animals. When I was a young’n, I used to want to be a zoologist. Then I found out how much math is required to earn a degree in zoology and gave up on my dream. But even then, just as now, there were some animals I didn’t care much for. Specifically those of the pest variety. I always gave mice and snakes and whatnot a pass, but squirrels, pigeons and rats got no love from me. Fast forward to my time in Japan, where I have discovered a new pest to loathe.
That’s right: crows.
Many Japanese people share my sentiment, specifically in Tokyo, where the birds are everywhere. My first knock is the noise. Believe me, if you have crows living in your neighborhood like I do, it can be a real pain in the arse. Especially in the morning. That’s when these evil, black bastards are at their most rambunctious. It’s not just the constant, vociferous squawking, either; Crows are always rooting through the garbage, tearing it up and then quarreling over the scraps. This makes for noise and mess. On my walk to work one day, I saw what appeared to be an explosion that had scattered trash all over the usually spotless streets. But I knew better. The crows did it. Another thing that sucks is the intimidation factor. Take a close look at the average crow, and one thing stands out: that menacing, thick bill. You hear stories of people getting their heads buzzed in Tokyo by crows, and I can tell you with total honesty I would probably mess myself if one came soaring down to attack. But, I also have no qualms about taking a few gouges in an effort to snap the bugger’s neck in hopes its brethren will learn not to mess with us humans. Their talons are pretty thick and hardy as well; the perfect tool for tearing open Family Mart bags filled with stinking garbage or ripping away bits of scalp.
Before anyone labels me a vigilante, I will let it be known that I have never harmed a crow. But I will if I have to, if, justifying it in the words of John Rambo: “They drew first blood.” That likely will never happen, but just in case, I want a nice disclaimer if I’m facing deportation for manhandling a bird in front of a crowd.
Are there any solutions to the crow problem? Not really. Like their equally obnoxious friend the pigeon, crows have turned the city into their natural habitat. Good luck getting them out. Short of making it legal to kill crows, there’s not much to be done but grumble, or, as I did this week, silently celebrate the sight of a mangled crowd in the middle of the road in Shinjuku. Even the schoolkids I saw walking past seemed satisfied with the end result.
Next time: feral cats. Should I tell off the obahsans who feed them three times a day?
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spartancus is a resident of West Tokyo and lives off the Seibu Ikebukuro line.
He is a native of Detroit, Michigan and has previously worked as a writer, editor, page designer, bartender, musician, waiter, roofer, landscaper, short-order cook, hardware store clerk, bookstore clerk, night security guard and dishwasher. He teaches English in public schools.
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It’s over, Johnny!
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Some of these crows are huge too! I mean scary huge - they don’t breed ‘em that big back at home - must be what’s in your garbage Spartacus….
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Just slaughter them to extinction like they are doing with the native Bears. /sarcasm
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Crows are just doing there thing. If we look at the most destructive animal on the planet. It has to be us. We should be the most forgiving of other animals after everything we’ve done - oil spills and causing extinction of thousands of animals. We should try to keep the rest of the animals that we have left.
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Black Crows in Tokyo…
No, not the band, the vermin! They dig through our garbage, they annoy us with their hideous calls, and sometimes give us the feeling that ‘Damien’ himself is not far off. Do you hate the buggers? Read about one man’s quest to learn to live with the…
Crows are smart.
http://www.markmode.com
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So was Charles Manson, I’ve heard.
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I know that they are scheming every time I walk by one of them after I’ve taken the first train home in the morning.
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Actually, some Japanese people feel it’s taboo to look a crow in the eye. They think the bird will attack. But yeah, Tom, there is a certain glint of understanding in those evil black eyes that unnerves me a bit if I’m walking within 10 feet or so. Even the picture I took for the article was a risk.
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I voted crows doesn’t bother me in Tokyo … after all I don’t live in Tokyo ^^
Don’t forget : they were here before us and probably will be here after humanity have extinguished … in the end we are the only specie that found the way to willingly extinguishes itself.
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You make them sound so menacing! But in all reality I can’t disagree with you even if I tried. It’s true that while taking a nice stroll from Yoyogi to Shinjuku, winding through some side streets,I would get pretty terrified once I heard that crow, look up, and see a GIANT black object with wings fly overhead. It left me rather unsettled on several occasions.
Did they not take some action several years back in Tokyo, and attempt to gas all those suckers? This is second-hand information, but I heard that they attempted it, and it didn’t work too well.
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